VALUABLE MEMBERS ARE LEAVING CHURCH

Out of every sound congregation there is a trickle of members who leave, not to switch churches, or because of any disagreement or altercation or any discomfort. These are people who have been faithful attendees, active participants, heavily invested. Then they stop. They drop away. And it's the outcome of a great deal of personal thought and wrestling. They find themselves done with church. But, they have not discarded faith in the LORD. These are not fickle, critical, troublesome, glad to see them gone people. These are people who have always been regarded as keepers, stalwarts, contributors.

Their absence is noticed, questioned and it is felt, at least for a little while. Then life carries on. However, not in all churches is the hole they have left filled easily and quickly. They themselves considered this and it troubled them, yet they finally needed to opt for inner peace. These are the de-churched. 

Church leaders should pay attention to this phenomenon and should seek to understand why people make this decision. Exit interviews or conversation over coffee might uncover why these refugees have made this decision. I believe the explanations will be more complex than I venture to convey here. In some cases it has to do with weariness of listening and the exhaustion of doing the same things for years, for decades perhaps. Maybe sermon fatigue has set in. Maybe Sunday morning at church is so routine that it is crippling to the spirit that wants to experience the richness of vital connection with the life-giving God. Maybe it involves a need to be deeply involved with or committed to people outside the church, some kind of rubber meets the road, real life, make a difference service.

I have more observations than answers about this. Yet it seems to me that church leaders should determine not to be judgmental of people who are struggling with de-church inclinations. Rather, they should deliberately listen, ask these people questions, learn. Of course, this should be done before they bail, because persuading them to return is more difficult, usually impossible.

Maybe in listening, will come revelations of what needs to change in order to keep valuable members, whose absent places are not being filled by Millenials who are also away from the church, but that's another topic. Questions that might be asked would include, Why have you considered stepping away from church? Has your relationship with God been changing over recent years? Has our church had an influence on your relationship with God? What would have to change here at church to help you grow spiritually beyond where you are to where you believe you should be or where you want to be?