I'M NOT DONE WITH THE DONES

People leave the organized and institutional church every week, people who once were active and supportive participants. Some sociologists and researchers have dubbed them the 'Dones.' These formerly involved church members are 'done' with church.

Brandon A. Cox is a church planting pastor and a blogger and a fine young and sincere gentleman. He confessed that he too considered leaving the church but he changed his mind. Now he is all in. He wants to persuade 'Almost Dones' to stay. He wrote 'Ten Terrible Reasons to be Done with Church'. If you are serious about understanding the heart-wrenching thoughts of departing church members, Cox's reasons won't cut it. At least no 'Dones' I know use these. The church is so judgmental. The church is full of hypocrites. The church is too institutional. The church is too political. The church complicates my life. The church is too dogmatic. The church just wants my money. The church doesn't care about issues that matter. The church seems irrelevant to my life. The church let me down.

To Cox's credit, he acknowledges the validity of the reasons he states and the church's responsibility for generating them, and his appeal is for people not to bail but to stay and to work out issues to be part of the solution. He thinks this is game-changing. However, the reasons cited by spiritual, honourable, thoughtful people whom I know, are multifaceted and arrived at through painstaking reflection. Cox's simple appeal has been considered and it is ineffectual for them.

Regrettably, Cox tops it off with the stock 'biggest' reason you can't leave the church. "Jesus died for her. The church, as imperfect as she is, is the love of Jesus' life … You need his people and you need to be humble enough to see the church as 'us' and not 'them.'"  The 'Dones' I know are part of the church that Jesus loves even outside the walls and the authority of the local church. They are not done. They don’t call themselves by that name. They are committed to Christ's church. They seek new ways to make disciples, to heal broken people, to feed the hungry, to make a difference in their communities and to bring people to his church. They are convinced this can be done effectively independent of organized church. I personally am not done talking about the “Dones” nor am I done with the Dones.

THE TRINITY CAN INFORM THE CHURCH

Many people today are stating or behaving as though they want spirituality but they do not have a desire for involvement in organized religion. Granted, 'spirituality' can mean anything from Spa music to Buddhism to born again enthusiasm. I do want to narrow my comments to those who hold to a Christian faith that esteems Jesus as son of the Father God, redeemer, and King. Even among this focus group there are some who love Jesus but the church - not so much. Much of the disenchantment with church results from those within who have power and who misuse it. Top-down organizations have fallen out of favour. Let's recover something important. We cite the Genesis One quotation of God's statement, "let us make man in our image according to our likeness." Perhaps the plurality inherent in that quotation speaks of three persons essential to God who should also now inform our ecclesiology. After pastoring churches for 40 years, and having time to assess church during the past 7 years, I conclude that we need to promote a leadership model that is interdependent, relational, participatory, self-giving, communal and self-surrendering.

THE TRINITY AND THE CHURCH

We all acknowledge a strong connection between the doctrine of the church and the doctrine of God, yet I seldom read anything that emphasizes the close relation between church and the doctrine of the Trinity. In fact, the doctrine of the church originates from the Trinity. God's covenant with people whether in the Old or New Testaments has always been this, "I will … be your God, and you will be my people" (Lev. 26:12; 2 Cor. 6:16). His people, God's people, are his possession. God can say that. He formed them for himself. His people were and are supposed to sound forth his praise (Isaiah 43:21).

God revealed himself in inspired scripture, as the three person Creator God who said, "Let us make man in our image." This living God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit created everything for his own glory, including people. When humanity's earliest antecedents disobeyed God, the Father introduced redemption to his people, the story of which is traced in scripture until it is ultimately realized in the Son's atoning death. Israel was once God's chosen people. The Father sent the Son to be incarnated as a Jew. Except for a few Jewish believers, Israel rejected Jesus. Thereafter, all who place exclusive trust in Jesus the Son become not only disciples but the temples of the Holy Spirit and together they are the people of God known now as the church. The church is a divine embrace of people that includes Gentiles, an international selection, whom the Apostle Peter called a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God (1 Peter 2:9) and adds that they once were 'not a people' but now are 'the people of God' (vs.10).

OTHER CHRISTIANS NEED YOU

This may be a bit of a tutorial. Sorry. It's not an easy lesson. It's the way it must be told. It applies to many of us.

A covenantal family motif began in Israel with Abraham's family.{1}  God promised to promote and to exalt Abraham's family. Jesus took that family theme and customized it in order to establish a family community of faith. Jesus was conversing with a crowd of people when his mother Mary and his brothers came to speak with him so his disciples drew his attention to his family, to which Jesus made this startling statement. Pointing to his disciples he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers.  For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”{2} He was seizing that moment to show that he had inaugurated a spiritual family comprised of people who trust him.{3} Believers in Christ are his brothers and sisters.{4} I am confident we all agree that this spiritual family of faith is his Church. If we are in the family, we are God's children, and we are Christ's brothers and sisters and we should never abandon one another. The apostle Paul taught there were several character qualities that must characterize the family of God's children so they would cheerfully and serviceably live together.

These are the character qualities.

            1. Humility - Greeks had no room for humility in a lifestyle that just like ours today tries to grab the gusto, have it all, promotes self-assertiveness. Jesus changed the meaning of the term with his own example. Humility has become integral to our Christian character.

            2. Gentleness - It’s sometimes translated as meekness because it is a placid easy and mild character.  It doesn't assert personal importance or authority.

            3. Longsuffering - It can mean steadfast endurance of hardship or misfortune but it commonly refers to slowness to retaliate.  God’s shows this patience with humans and Christians should show it towards others. 

            4. Forbearance - This is loving tolerance or bearing with one another in love, despite faults or weaknesses. This shows that Christ is living in you.

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{1} Genesis 12:1-3; 17:1-16

{2} Matthew 12:46-50

{3} John 1:12-13

{4} Hebrews 10:24-25

DUBIOUS ABOUT MIRACLES

We are so comfortable with the mundane, that we do not anticipate anything supernatural. We are theoreticians, academics. We state a belief in the phenomenal God for whom nothing is impossible, but we expect nothing beyond the routine as the consequence of our prayers. We believe He can, but we don't believe he will. Ours is a virtual reality. It's a pretense to trust. We ask for so little. We petition using banalities, truisms and clichés because we lack confidence in God, to ask boldly. "We" means all whose faith identity is Christian, Protestant, Catholic or Orthodox branches, whether denominational, undenominational, non denominational. We are a jaded bunch of professors, who make excuses for God. We are doctrinally dogmatic and practically agnostic.

Admittedly, I am overstating my case, painting this portrait with a broad brush. The subject is a Bride, whom I could paint precisely like DaVinci painted Mona Lisa, but my work here looks like an abnormally featured Picasso. We determine not to be identified with wing-nuts who charm snakes, and fake healings so we treat the miraculous as unscientific and irrational. Trying to insure that we are perceived as sane, we have placed ourselves in straight-jackets. Of course we should acknowledge our doubts or inability to understand everything about God, but surely we do not have to be cynical, contemptuous, disparaging, and suspicious of a God who can do very much more than all that we ask or even imagine.

CHRISTIANS ARE RUNNING WEARY

So many Christians are running weary. I am thinking primarily now of adults, young parents who responsibly raise children and teens with team sports, chauffeuring to school and church activities, volunteer to teach, lead, govern, and exhaust all their discretionary time. They have no time for themselves. They have carved no time in a day, maybe in the week for personal debriefing, assessment, reflection, time alone with the LORD. They feel busy but dissatisfied. They have cheated themselves. And then comes Sunday. They have to show up again.

Your bum on a seat at Sunday church is not a good measure of your spirituality. Being there does not insure you are being fueled. It may be just one more event that eats up your time. Being seen at Sunday worship should not be equated with worshipping. You and scores of others will actually worship corporately when each person has met with God in earnest relationship before the meeting. Intimacy with God does not begin at the formal meeting with a call to worship, with a rousing song. A heart tug and a stung conscience from a stirring sermon will not ensure behavioral change.

Too soon, you may conclude as so many have, that the church is not meeting your needs. The pastor's material is not connecting with you. Perhaps another alternative can be found, another church, larger perhaps, some place to get lost, a place to take the kids off your hands for a couple of hours, a place where when you say "no thanks" to an invitation to participate, no one will care. And some time later, your children lose interest because your own experience is not encouraging them. And you drop off and drop out.

It will be preferable that you take responsibility for yourself. Your personal spiritual development is your concern. Ultimately it is a relationship with the living, loving God in which you are interested. No one can give that to you or nurture it for you. Some people can be a resource, that's all. You yourself must take control of your schedule and your priorities to know God and talk over life with him, and become excited about what he is doing in your and around you each hour of each day. As the amazement increases and the enthusiasm mounts, you may want to find other believers with a vital walk with God, and together worship with a passion you thought was possible but never knew.

CAN'T DO THE SAME OLD

During a recent vacation trip to Ontario, I became aware of a number of churches, Anglican, Presbyterian, and United that have closed due to failing attendance and have now rebirthed as Daycare Centres and Restaurants and Community Halls.

Cultural shift occurs now more quickly than it ever has. Among the swings are attitudes toward faith, church, Bible, Jesus and sin. The new normal is tolerance of just about anything. This is a pluralistic culture that despises Christianity and any religion that speaks in opposition to abortion, homosexuality and gay marriage. Some social commentators maintain that Christianity is in recession. At least many mainline churches in this century are closing. Many fundamental and evangelical churches struggle to withstand shrinking attendance and incomes.

Canada is not a Christian nation. Many Americans still think USA is a Christian nation, but they are living in a bubble. The greatest percentage of citizens do not profess to be bible believing Christians or believe there is a hell or believe that sexual orientation matters to God. They do not know what the bible says about key issues. More concerning to me are evangelical churches, leaders and believers who have opted for a vanilla version of Christianity that accommodates to much of the shift that now characterizes the culture around them. This becomes a soft faith and a soft church with a no pressure approach to gospel and Christian life. It seems harmless but it's dangerous.

 If that's what your church is doing, I don't blame you for walking in a different direction. The church for the 21st century should take steps to turn inward facing ministries outwards. That is, stop tending the same sheep who by now should be disciples who capably serve. It is justifiable for a church to contextualize the gospel by improving its décor, acquiring a quality website, making use of good technology. Most importantly, a determined choice must be made to let God's Word speak with the knowledge that God uses it to change people's lives. Don't make the message easier for people to swallow. God is greater than any culture so the church for the 21st century must boldly live out and talk out the good news that make the good news compelling.

STAYING RIGHTEOUS AS A PERSON & AS A CHURCH

We are already fifteen years into the 21st century and shifting sociological values in Canada, and in British Columbia have redefined life to an extent that individual Christians and the Church must consider these changes when answering for themselves how they fit. What kind of responsible life decisions should the individual believer make in order to responsibly react to society? How should the church in a community meet people who are affected by cultural modifications to morality, sexuality, ethnicity, family and economy?

Right now, half of all children are spending a portion of their lives in a single-parent home. One out of three married couples with children, have a stepchild or an adopted child. Most children grow up with mothers at work outside the home. The most rapidly growing segment of homemakers is unmarried men who live alone or head families. Older people as well as young singles are seeking alternatives to traditional marriage. What were regarded once as 'non-families' have received legal recognition as families and these include unmarried heterosexual couples, gay and lesbian couples as well as friends who intentionally live together. Pressure is constant to redefine 'family' as a group of people who live and care for each other.

So here is my compendium of questions for the day. As an individual Christian and as a church, do you still champion the nuclear family as an ideal? If you are no longer attending an organized local church, how are you maintaining a lock on God's values for family, morality, society, and gospel? If you have been contemplating separating yourself from a local church, what blueprint do you have for preserving righteousness personally and in your family? If you lead a church or are a member of a local congregation, what roles do you want the church to have within the community? Do you provide family services that take into consideration the children and adults who are dealing with divorce, single parenting, remarriage and blended families? Do you feel that to be relevant, you must capitulate to societal values and abandon traditionally held moral values?

UNHOOKED OR STILL TETHERED IN CHANGING TIMES

In both a transcendent universal sense and a locally accessible sense, followers of Christ are called by God to be Church, sometimes called the Bride of Christ. While the transcendent version influences academic and logical conversations, the local church is boots on the ground, the operational model. Lately I have spoken understandingly about believers who unhook themselves from the organized church. Unhooking is an option but know this, a person who abnegates commitment to a local church is not exempt from Christian responsibility. What might such responsibility be?

Look, if you either wish to start your own church with a few friends or you want to continue the existing local church, this is what you can expect. You live within a global network of systems that affect all of our lives, climate, culture, economy, education, politics and religion too. Change is inevitable in our system. Change happens without our consent. Christians whether associated or disassociated with a local organized church have a duty to Jesus to make disciples so let's be realistic about the challenges.

Consumer prices affect church finances so are you making reasonable cost decisions at church? What was purchased for $100 in 2000, now costs $130. Families have doublewide driveways for two or more vehicles, dictating how much land local churches must pave to accommodate the traffic. If you are not caring for the orphan and the hungry (or things comparable) but prioritizing buildings and salaries some Christians should object. When doing church, do we consider that people's lives are significantly impacted by technologies, need for convenience, hectic schedules, weary adults, parents both of whom work, daycare children, catch-up Saturdays, and the demand for a breath of air? Women have spiritual needs but how can these be addressed when 80% of women aged 25-44 are employed outside the home, as compared with 50% in 1970 and 75% in 1990? We have such complicated family schedules and 25% of adults eat breakfast on their way to work. Music has replaced doctrine as the most divisive issue in churches since music has become a dominant force. Juvenile (aged 10-17) arrest rate has tripled in 25 years and the drug culture become prevalent, so what choices should Christians make about ministries and even security. And you and I can be as cynical as we choose about an organized church, but outside it, no one is any different or better when sitting on their hands.

RETHINK WORSHIP - NOSTALGIA VERSUS POPULAR

I am unsure whether I am being realistic. Perhaps you can tell me. Worship and church have been synonymous but what we have been doing with worship deserves examination. First, we have lately presumed music is equated with worship and this has led to silly tags like worship CDs, worship leaders, worship bands, and worship teams, effectively omitting scripture reading, recitations, preaching, prayer, offering, testimonies and silence from a definition for 'worship.' As composers have produced creative and fresh hymns and spiritual songs there have also been attempts to accommodate the range of reactions. Many churches have provided options, that is, dissimilar worship services. Traditional versus contemporary is the pitched tension. Old versus new is a dichotomy that I view as needless and unhappy. Nostalgia versus popular? Baloney.

Who wants this? Pastoral staff members do not want additional preps and toil. Medium sized churches agonize from splintered relationships when trying to imitate the professed success of wealthier and grander churches. Segregation by age breaks the spirit of the Body. An older generation does not need to worship alone. Seniors don't need only music composed before or during their own youth. They must participate and witness the enthusiasm and involvement of younger generations. Children, youth and young adults need to experience worship together with elders to understand the corporate identity of this people that Jesus has redeemed. We should consistently be incorporating new songs into the best songs of previous generations. What is indispensable is a theological filter within each congregation to insure that the theologies do not differ between newer and older material. 

And then there is this peculiarity. When an expectation is provided that people deserve choices of worship styles, they are offended when their selection is altered or removed, so they leave. Of course an individual can worship privately, but that is not to say worship is about the individual. We are not a community of consumers. God also calls his new covenant people to worship together with others as a distinct group of those who share a salvation story. Am I being realistic or sticking my head in the sand?

NOT RANTING OR WHINING - MERELY DISCERNING

I am not ranting or whining in my recent blog posts about church. I am observant and I am questioning. I do not consider my assessment to be disrespectful or insolent although it may be marginally peculiar considering that most of my life has been invested in the organized church. I actually believe I am entitled, maybe commissioned to interrogate the church. Why wouldn't I continue to query her today for the sake of Christ. We, the church, are after all, Christ's bride. As a constituent member of this corporate persona, I must be concerned about our purity, our mission, our reputation, our effectiveness.

I am optimistic about Christ's church. I really am. That's because I already know the end of the story. You can too.  An assembly of persons too numerous to estimate, comprised of individuals from every country, every tribal group and linguistic dialect will be attired in white robes as they bow in worship and unitedly shout, "salvation belongs both to our God who sits on the throne and to the Lamb. Amen! Praise and glory and wisdom and thanks and honor and power and strength be to our God for ever and ever. Amen!" These people will be those about whom it will be said, they have come through severe distress and have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb." It is now metaphoric and it will be a true identification. All the suffering, hardship and privation of their lives will end as God wipes every tear from their eyes and satisfies them with what cannot end. We will be among them, some of the countless sheep for whom Jesus's life was surrendered as though he was a sacrificial lamb so that he could rebound as the resurrected shepherd of the entire flock.

The apostle John's actual visionary prediction is in Revelation 7:9-17

I FOUND CHURCH

I experienced church in Hawaii. In 2013 and 2014 Christine and I joined teams of Habitat for Humanity volunteers led by Alan Kotanen. Alan is a gentle man with a winsome temperament. He is sensitively relational. His personal relationship with God is attractive. Because he is also confident, energetic, organized, and informed, and because he is married to Sylvia who matches him with complimentary strengths, Christine and I signed on.

Our teams were approximately 15 and 16 members, each of whom shelled out money for flights, food and accommodation arranged by Alan for an experience that included one week of hard work and a few days of touristy leisure. We ate meals together, commuted to a work site and worked together, shared tasks of food prep and cleanup, and we had a daily post supper gathering for a couple of hours. We laughed a lot and we spoke seriously about life. In those meetings Alan softly coaxed us to debrief our day. The bonding of lives happened within the first 48 hours and deepened, evoking a freedom and willingness to be real, honest, and vulnerable. We listened eagerly, expressed personal impressions, voiced needs, invited prayer, reveled in good news, shared scripture, had fun and occasionally sang. We played games together, sunned together, sweated together, walked in conversation with one another, came to know one another.

In these past two years, that has been the experience of Christ's church that has come closest to my understanding of the church in the book of ACTS, closest to my expectations and preferences of church as I want it to be for me. There was responsibility and accountability and organization in this little society but the rules were minimal, sensible, and owned by all. Leadership was acknowledged, applied with humility and poise, delegated and shared. Both men and women, young and senior exercised their giftedness to benefit the group outcomes. During our workdays, we let our 'spiritual light' shine to non-team workers, to Habitat personnel, to prospective homeowners. Gospel and faith and hope were charmingly communicated.

I won't dissect this further in order to develop a formulaic result, a template. I won't err by romanticizing this energy. I know only that the number of people, the intimacy, the mission and purpose, the leadership, the disposition to be known and to know others, generated love for one another. I have no idea whether those dynamics could be sustained for 6 months or ten years. I am sure that as member eccentricities, foibles, faults and, paranoias surfaced, the love would be stretched and the grace of Christ be necessitated. I suspect that doubling or quadrupling the membership would make this soup watery. But God is creative and his Spirit can teach us how to add corn starch to thicken the broth so the higher percentage are engaged and growing. Do you agree?

A BLEAK SCENARIO - NO CHURCHES ALLOWED

If all church buildings in Canada were banned, burned down, confiscated or taxed into closure, would we refer to our movement as a churchless Christianity? My own answer is a resounding "No!"

In that bleak hypothetical scenario, Christians particularly would understand and society and judicial authorities would eventually realize that church is Christ within people; is God-filled Christ followers, unquenchable, destined for glory. Wherever they meet, they are church. Stop them from meeting and they still are the church.

This triumphant outlook is possible because Jesus loves his church, referring to the church in the feminine (her). She, the church, is his bride. He laid his life down for her and he promised to never leave her or forsake her. Not only would he build his church but he would also complete that work which he started. All these promises are fulfilled irrespective of deeded properties and towering edifices. His work with his church nears completion in remote villages, in downtown city cores, high in mountain communities, in the squalor of refugee camps, in the quiet of a student lounge and in the confines of a prison conference room.

Possibly my preferred take-away from these comments is that each reader who follows Jesus, should pledge today to be conscious that he or she represents Jesus and is an integral member of God's ongoing church building mission which may involve your love, words and life touching someone else with eternal results. Someone today may meet Jesus Christ and in that meeting find forgiveness, peace, salvation, life, joy, hope and a new network - Christ's church. In the instant of that surrender and faith, there is undeniable connection with the past and the present and the future of all the believers in Jesus as Son of God.

THEOLOGICAL BANKRUPTCY in church should be a concern to us.

Across the spectrum of church affiliations and denominations the church population is becoming theologically bankrupt. That's my assessment and also the result of surveys. It concerns me.  Several observations leave me disturbed for Christ's church and the believers who comprise His Bride.

Church and Christian life disassociated from theology for many people.

Today I heard a pastor assert that over the past 14 years at his church, 20 couples who were married there, have divorced. It breaks his heart. There can be numerous factors is such staggering dissolution but try this one on. Theology is often considered to be academic and intellectual and unrelated to the 'more important' church activities and weekday programs. This assumption means theology is meaningless to so much of life. The life of God is road blocked. If a relationship with God (theology) is foundational and drives a life and service and other relationships, surely the word about God is relevant and needs to be well-defined and understood. Theology and the average person should be synonymous and not relegated to seminaries. Truly daily linking to, yielding to and loving God in his sovereignty, sanctity, purity, holiness and power will affect all of life inside and outside church.

Eisegetical preaching and teaching (application) is trumping truth.

It is troubling that pastors, Bible class teachers, and spokespersons often lack training and gifting needed to let the Bible speak. It is the difference between eisegetical and exegetical interpretations of scripture. Eisegesis reads into the text whereas exegesis extracts and draws out from the text. What does it mean to you rather than what does it say? A text is not understood solely by answering what it means to me. We may force God's word to say something unintended when we seek to make it meaningful rather than to disclose what it means. That's why Christians are struggling and divided over the acceptability of gay and lesbian lifestyles and living together before marriage, and so many other controversial issues.

Exclusive association of worship with music.

One's life should be worship, the whole of it. It is concerning enough when Christians believe that worship applies only to one hour on Sundays. A step further and theological reduction is demonstrated by our terminology when worship is equated with only the music portion of that hour. We begin with a time of 'worship,' that musical portion led by a 'worship' leader or pastor. Followers of Jesus who are not fully devoted 24/7 may result from compartmentalizing something as basic as worship.  

Christians unfamiliar with their Bibles.

We have all witnessed the shift from text-based learning to image-based learning at home, in school, and now in church. Beginning with acetate projections and then PowerPoint, the technology has an unfortunate unintentional outcome of dissuading people from knowing where in the Bible the projected texts can be found. People do not know their Bibles very well. Shallow Bible knowledge, and thin preaching leads to superficial faith.  Less than 20% of professing Christians have a biblical worldview, according to a Barna survey. Less than 50% of them believe Satan is real, or believe in absolute moral truth. Only 62% believe Jesus was sinless.

What do you think can be done about this? What needs to take place in homes? What shifts must occur in churches? What disciplines must individual Christians adopt?